1 in every 5 dolphins is a method actor.

Youtube is the only place where you’ll find people arguing about religion in the comments of a snowboarding video.

I had a race with an Asian today… It was a Thai

What was the name of the hobbit who went to get frozen yoghurt? Froyo Baggins.

Why do Ethiopian women give the best blowjobs? You know they’ll swallow

Why didn’t the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren’t loose.

I don’t have bad posture, my body’s just sad.

3 Steps to being a good Programmer 1. Avoid recursion 2. Repeat steps 1 and 2. 3. Always have an exit condition. 4. Beware of being off by one.

Wife:Stop watching porn Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn, I can hear it in the kitchen . . . . . Husband: . . . . I’m not, it’s Sharapova vs Serena… I’m watching tennis….

90s kids won’t get this… Social Security benefits.