My religious, conservative upbringing taught me that poor people are lazy and the rich are giving. Real life taught me the opposite.

Crazy ex’s are like a box of chocolates They’ll kill your dog

What is the KKK’s favourite football (soccer) club? Blackburn

If you believe binoculars are overrated, then look no further.

Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house but that fly is dead.

The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 100? Every time she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.

I’d try Taco Bell’s breakfast but I don’t start drinking that early.

I guess you can say trusting a Russian merchant is pretty… Roosky business

DON’T BREATHE! Studies show that 100% of humans that have died have inhaled oxygen at least once in their life.