What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls.

When I was young, I stopped believing in Santa despite massive peer pressure. You could say I was a rebel without a Clause.

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl with one hand. It’s 42.

Deep After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world’s problems is that people don’t seem to carrot all.

My Life Sucks… Because my wife doesn’t.

What kind of bee produces milk? A BOOBEE!

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.

It’s your first time when you high af and you could feel the earth rotating faster than usual… in the opposite direction.

are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?