Praying that Donald Trump is really just Ashton Kutcher performing his most elaborate prank yet.

Why can I never be a doctor? Because I don’t have any patients

Three guys walk into a bar… John Wick kills them with a pencil. A fucking pencil.

I think that bisexual girls should just call themselves more-or-lesbians.

what is the mods favorite joke? [deleted]

There Are Three Types of People in the World People who are good at math and people that aren’t

Have you ever tried duck sausage? Why don’t you duck on down and get you some?

I love playing “Army men” with my Girlfriend I just lay on the ground an she blows the hell outta me

Ya know what usually happens when I get naked in the bathroom? The shower gets turned on.

Female Viagra Why has it taken so long to get a female version of Viagra? They couldn’t get the women to agree on the color for the pill.