Girl, do you want some good sex? Me- Girl, do you want some good sex? Her- No! Me- Then you came to the right guy

Damn girl are you playboy magazine? Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues

Let’s stop listing pagers on that list of electronic devices that should be turned off.

Why is wheat a hillbilly grain? X/post from r/funny Because its inbread

The most perfect method to say the perfect punch-line. /pnt.lan/ assuming of course you know how to read “phonetic transcription”.

My wife ran away with my best friend… My wife ran away with my best friend. I don’t know the guy, but he made me a huge favor so I consider him my best friend.

Know what her cervix and a plate glass patio door have in common They both make her eyes light up when you run into them.

A black guy walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender then says “Well that’s special, where did you get it?” “Africa” says the parrot

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? …

So Hillary Clinton logs into her e-mail [deleted]