All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us! -if bras could talk

My sister would make a great politician… …she avoids directly answering questions and always leads the blame to someone else, whether she has proof or not.

I have a wig, I have an orange, ugh Donald Trump

My Dad just had a stairlift installed in the house. Its driving him up the wall.

All the toilets in the city have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

If you don’t like my opinion of you improve yourself!

What do you call a group of elephants? A pack o’derms

Two men came to the door asking if I’d found Jesus. I said “Hell no. I don’t want to have to spend my weekends bothering people at home.”

It’s about time I talked to the boy about the birds and the bees. If memory serves, it’s the stork that delivers and the swallow receives?

Have you ever been to an Istanbul nightclub? I hear they’re poppin’ and a good place to get wasted!