“THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME” – KANYE “THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND WEED” – WIZ “THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AT ALL” -B.O.B.

Engineers’ view about a glass of water! To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

I heard they are making Frozen 2.. ..I think they just need to let it go. My mom’s funnies are rare and usually unintentional.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? “You are the wind beneath my wings.”

It’s ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days. I know he’s a priest but he’s not going to do anything out in public.

Life like potato… Only have one, then soldier come and take.

Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes

My son asked me what it was like to be married I deleted all the music off his iPod except one song.

I bet Taylor Swift still believes in Santa Claus.

What do you call 1 white guy with 500 black guys The warden