Million dollar idea: Invest $995,000 in a bank CD.

The worst part about being molested as a kid is People think that you look cute, but in reality it is just afterglow

Riverdance was invented by an Irish family with 7kids but only one toilet.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? In Soviet Russia, lightbulb screws YOU!

where does honey come from? beez nuts

What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback

A(n atrocious) Knock-Knock Joke Knock knock! Who’s there? Cop car goes “wee!” Cop car goes “Wee!” who…

Always face somebody and make eye contact while talking… Especially when they attempt small talk at the urinal.

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon? Intersect it with a plane.

The French military suffered a major loss today… Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground.