Did you hear that Bjork covered a Lady Gaga song? It’s called “Bjorn This Way”.

Carlsberg don’t do Alzheimer’s … … but they do make exceedingly good cakes.

If God is always watching… …then one day, while masturbating, I’m gonna look that motherfucker straight in the eye and finish like a boss.

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed up

Polls show some interesting things Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. – Do I have any choice here he asks a sergeant. – Yes you do. You may eat it or not.

A mahogany boob… Would be pretty useless, wooden tit?

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year? It didn’t Snowden.

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He’s so happy that he’s giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.

All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a bag of Chips!!!