Whats the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an epileptic corn-husker? The epileptic corn-husker shucks between fits.

I have a friend named Scott who still forwards chain emails. As soon as I figure out what to do w/ the body I’ll be Scott-free.

Whats Brown and… Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? p p

Have you heard that president Assad has been making cheese? He’s been getting the Kurds out of the whey (credit to Sambo85 – Sikipedia)

what did the faggot faggot the faggot? because faggot hahahaha

What’s black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls? Ghost avocado.

My mom just took away my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.

An old Scottish joke. What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings and Walt Disney.

I just got a Facebook invite to my brother’s non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more.

I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak