Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

What is a Lumber-Jack from Massachusetts’ favorite drink? A Boston Logger.

Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing

Why can’t your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it’d be a foot

Where animal does Russian milk come from? moscows

why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? cause they’re really fuckin’ good at it

My friend asked me what I thought about internet message boards. I said, I’m all forum.

what’s the difference between mean and morbid? mean: five children in one dustbin morbid: one child in five dustbins

A man streaked passed two old women in the park… the first one had a stroke; the other missed

So i worked at the USPS…I’m apparently not the “man” for the….. the sub its named for.