A friend confided in me about a peculiar birthmark on his butt. I told his secret to my friends for a laugh. I am Julian AssStrange.

Q: Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? A: Because he only made a good buccaneer.

Wanna hear a short joke ? Wanna hear another one ?

I unsubscribed from the official earthbending subreddit. Getting tired of all these Internet Toph Guys.

I bet you haven’t heard this one before 53154

I am sad I can no longer get Arnold Palmer’s at restaurants anymore But it looks like I can get an Arnold Embalmer now.

You guys wanna see something cool? http://www.fda.gov/ucm/groups/fdagov-public/documents/image/ucm197598.bmp

They were having a sale at the hospital for vasectomies… It was a package deal.

What’s the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

The difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser is depth perception.