Which teachers care the most about their students? Math teachers, because every student counts.

Stop making fun of fat people with lisps!!! …they’re probably thick and tired of it.

What’s Vladimir’s favorite song? Putin on the Ritz

What is “attempted theft” exactly? I mean it’s not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for “attempted plagiarism”

Why will Church’s chicken be losing money? Because I don’t see black people going to church’s anytime soon

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke. Sorry, it’s the first joke I ever learned, and I haven’t ever seen it posted.

Home is where the Wi-Fi is.

PERSONAL TRAINER: How’s your nutrition? ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It’s been worse.

When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag, So I wasn’t surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops

What did one saggy boob say to the other? Perk up or people will think you’re nuts!