What does a jock douchebag and a strict catholic have in common? They’re both obsessed with their mass every day.

Mrs Smith the biology teacher was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf which was great for the children in her class. “What Mrs Smith needs” said one of her colleagues “is a herring-aid.”

Why was Jack scared? Because Jack was bean stalked

Gays and ISIS … are fucking assholes.

What is a trans fat? A feminist.

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger’s engagement proves that not only is love blind, it’s also deaf.

After 5 vodka and Red Bulls, you start wearing your Lindsay Lohan costume.

I asked my friend if he wanted brown rice… He said, “No, I hate brown rice; I only eat white rice.” I said, “What are you, riceist?”

What do the Green Bay Packers and Monica Lewinsky have in common? Clinton Dix, haha.

I like my women like I like my coffee not older than 12 years