“I’m paying a woman to fist my mouth” is the way I choose to describe going to the dentist tomorrow.

Where do the Chinese study? In the Pupils republic of China

What does batman take in his beverages? just…ice.

I went camping with swingers It was fucking intense

Wife: Rock the baby. Me: *plugs in amp*

in canada if you pat your pockets to show a hobo that you have no change and he hears your keys jingle, you have to give him your house.

My drug dealer got me shoes for Christmas I dont know what they were laced with, but I’ve been tripping ever since

Did you know the earth is over 70 percent water? Now what if all that water voted

If you’re seen one shopping centre… You’ve seen a mall.

Where do shadowbanned Redditors go? To the PAO Camp.