(Late Joke) Islamic State: People who are currently in Cuba, You are all in Fidel’s. . Sorry.

Mating call of a blonde… “Hee hee, I think I’m a little drunk!”

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted

Did you hear about the special offer at the Mexican carpet store? UNDERLAY UNDERLAY UNDERLAY!!!!!!!!

How did the mermaid get into a car crash? …because she was fish tailing!

Why do tourists always take pictures in Paris? Because the tower is an Eiffel.

Eating McDonald’s because you’re hungry is exactly like sucking dick because you’re lonely That meat is no good for you and I do it about once a month

It’s so hot outside! I’ve been out here 10 minutes and I’m already wetter then Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards.

What do you call a wino eating grapes? Impatient.

I’d like rap a lot better if they sang, played instruments, had talent, and didn’t rap.