Billy asked our Astronomy teacher a simple question today… “Mrs. North? How big is Uranus?” Billy was sent to the office…

What did 50 cent say to his grandma after she crocheted him a sweater? G! You knit!

What degree did the butt get? A Master of Fine Farts

I treat women well cause I’m a real man. Also, if I’m nice to them maybe they’ll come over and kill this spider for me

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

What animal has a dick on its back? A police horse.

Damn girl, are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see

What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One’s a Fe-Male, and the other’s a woman in a power suit.

We all know how women can fake orgasms, but do you know how a man does? He moans, shakes, and spits on your back.

Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word.