My boyfriend asked for a dirty pic last night, I was able to get my whole kitchen in the shot. That should last him a while! He’s so weird.

What do you call a? What do you call a convict walking down some stairs? Con-descending

I’m not only glad that toothpaste was invented I’m enamelled by it.

Where do socialist birds lay their eggs? In a communest (pls ^dont ^^be ^^^repost)

I heard there’s a new Bread simulator game on Steam.. It’s a great game if you’re just loafing around.

What is meant by ‘a pull factor’? A big red sports car.

How are men like fuses? Once they’re blown, they’re useless.

woops i wrote a joke with no punchline a joke with no punchline

How do you interrupt a Redditor’s winning streak? The Game

If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she’s a keeper