A book just fell on my head.. and I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

What type of pants does Mario wear? Denim, denim, denim.

Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control.

An Irishman walks past a bar… ..no, really. It can happen.

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

I combined two hit games and made “Angry Words With Friends” where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them.

How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.

“Cu Later!” – a guy who wants some Copper, but not right now.

What entrance do prostitutes use? Hodor

DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what’s this for? ME: it’s a tip DOCTOR: okay but you’re still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]