There are 2 things that I absolutely hate: The first is racism And the second is sitting next to a black in the bus.

Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming

What do you call an Asian male with no penis? An Asian porn star

What do 9 out of 10 people agree on? A gangbang

There’s a button on this hotel phone that says, “Pizza”. I may never leave.

Do you know why the Little Mermaid wore seashells? Because she was too small for D shells.

I’m starting a self-serve fork business. It’s called Go Fork Yourself.

The only people who get more concussions than NFL players.. are their wives

Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016 Sure showed them

My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born.