Why’d the baker resort to prostitution? Because they knead the dough.

Truthfully officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving..

“Never go to bed angry” is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting

*comes into work with black eye* oh please I’m fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into

What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I’ll go on ahead.

No internet access in Cairo- Now the country is just called Gypt.

Where does a king keep his armies?? In his sleevies

Which religion faces the most Resistance? Hinduism… Om……

So Clark Kent is walking around with a giant cape bunched up under his dress shirt? I feel weird when I wear an undershirt.

Open the door …… Ooen the door…. Open the door Odour