My mother in law called me today and said? “Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, “Call me back when you’re sure”.

WalMart is closing down 269 stores in 2016 Due to this, 17 cashiers will lose their jobs.

Who is tall dark and a great dancer ? Dark Raver !

Do you know what 80 year old vagina tastes like? Depends

don’t usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: “lift with a straight back!” it felt good

Why did sexual frustration impede the development of mathematics in Ancient Greece? Because mathematicians in Ancient Greece couldn’t get no irrational fraction . . .

There are rumors that Robert Pattinson from the “Twilight” movies may be the next Indiana Jones. If there is one thing I want with my rugged action heroes, it’s a little bit of sparkle!

Customer: “I’m running Windows ’95.” Tech: “Yes.” Customer: “My computer isn’t working now.” Tech: “Yes you said that.”

One milli-Helen: The amount of beauty required to launch a single ship.

Hey baby! What’s up? Baby: My mother’s uterus.