We’re working on saving our second million. The first one didn’t go so well.

My friend attempted to make a cocktail… but she didn’t have the Bols.

If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate

This guy says to me, “Your girlfriend looks like a man” I said “Your girlfiend looks like a man too: the invisible man!”

I bought a duckdoo yesterday! ‘What’s a duckdoo?’ “quack, quack”

Did you know; one hamburger only contains 4% of our daily need of vitamine -B This means we need to eat way more hamburgers!

I used to get sad when the leaves fell from the trees… But then they always grew back, so that was a releaf.

Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken.

What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either