Depression hurts. Ask your doctor if maybe he wants to hang out Saturday night if he’s not doing anything.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia? Carve a turkey

You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father’s Day, internet.

The Wright Way “I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly.” -Steven Wright

What do you call a Mexican that loses a car? Carlos.

What does an apple and an apple tree have in common? They both don’t drive tractors.

What do you call a dizzy asian? Disorientaled.

Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.

What do you call a government consisted of burglars? A thiefdom.

Me and my friends started a band called 1,023 Megabytes… We haven’t gotten a gig yet.