I like my women the way I like my coffee Tied up in a burlap sack and slung over the back of Juan Valdez’s mule.

“Snitches get stitches” Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, “Snitches never wake up again” is more likely to deter snitching…

What do you call a middle eastern man with a bounty on his head? A towel head.

Have you heard of the new movie “constipation”? It hasn’t came out yet

Wanna hear a cheesy conspiracy? Halluminati

barn owls must have been stoked when the barn was invented

The best things in life require no pants.

What do geological plates and dinner plates have in common? They’re both pieces of china.

Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States.

i said no to the dress & now my familys being held against their will in an undisclosed location theyve already sent me two of my son’s toes