This Uber driver is the worst. I can’t roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won’t open, and now his siren is blaring.

An African, an Asian, and an Eskimo walk into a deez. Deez nuts.

Why did Hitler always win at limbo? Because no one else could stoop any lower.

Why did the Trump campaign order its followers to destroy all fax machines? They thought it was spelled “facts.”

My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry.

Will Apple ever release a product that lasts for more than a few years? iDoubtit

What did earth say to the other planet? “You guys have no life!”

The picture heading read “Panorama!” I thought it said “Paranormal” I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts.

What the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus The picture only takes one nail to hang.

Just so u know guys I literally covered my roommates bed in 324 pieces of cornbread 2 make it a “cornbed” so ur fakes puns mean nothing 2 me