Humans: we’re not like snakes Also Humans: mmmm eggs

What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership ? Cold Trafford !

Grenade in a french bathroom What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a french bathroom? Linoleum Blown Apart

What did dracula say to his girlfriend when she asked about sex? “I only do oral once a month”

When someone you don’t like is eating them, chips sound like 1000 asteroids smashing into the polar ice caps.

Batman cuts off a seemingly innocuous driver in the Batmobile, only to deal with the driver later, with the help of Superman #ChangingBanes

*slips into milk bath* *starts drinking*

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !

Just picked up a Where’s Waldo audiobook: “Not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo”

What is the difference between a dollar and a ruble ? A dollar.