Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean

What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle? I got my ion you.

“The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor” – inventor of carpet toliet seat covers

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Just bought a book “Jokes about Captain Obvious”. It’s full of Captain Obvious jokes.

I watched the movie San Andreas today and I really enjoyed it Despite its faults.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Korea’s missiles can’t reach that far.

Boss: Where were you born? Santa : India. Boss: which part? Santa : What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India.

What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

I like my women like I like my whiskey… Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions.