The key to a long and good relationship is to keep the fights clean, and the sex dirty!!!

When Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend Block You It,s Called An E-DIVORCE 😀

What happens to a jew when he runs into a wall with an erection? He breaks his nose

6.8 billion people in the world and I just had to make my own sandwich.

Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who’s there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You.

Could someone help me decide what’s more two faced… Hillary Clinton or the coin

Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there’s a 70% chance of guilt but I’d go ahead and make weekend plans

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Cause he can’t do stand-up.

“My Cocaine” How Michael Caine says his name…

I ate five cans of alphabet soup….. I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.