What do you call someone without a Liver? Deader.

I think I will take my next drivers license picture drunk so I can say pshaw! I always look like that.

If you’re out and you see a donkey, say “hey, come here donkey.” He might not come but if he does, free donkey

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

Finally I found out how hashtags work #hashtag # hashtags #work #how #found

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? V.

me *sees wife’s cheesecake* future me [sent here to warn me what would happen if I ate it] *knocks on the front door* me *already eating it*

What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken? It staged a coup

several animals were harmed in the making of this film. a piece of shit horse nobody liked and a gecko that we straight up lost

Know any jokes about sodium? Na.