What’s that joke that ends…”but you fuck 1 sheep…”

Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.

A man walks into a bar with a loaded gun “All right, anyone here that slept with my wife, please step forward. A man from the back of the bar shouts, “You don’t have enough bullets!”

What does a successful rapping cow struggle with? Moo money moo problems

Mmmh, the wetness…don’t stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers…I love the way you rub my head. –me, getting a shampoo at the salon

Finally watching Michael Bay’s TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling “How did you get this number?!?”

Looking for Texas? Drive east or west on Interstate 70 until you smell shit. Then go south till you run into it

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. ^^^nyuk, ^^^nyuk, ^^^nyuk

Why did the cave hate miners? They’re always picking on him.

Who came after Augustus? Septembrus