Don’t you hate it when… ….You’re giving a handjob to another guy and he turns out to be a gay ass fagot.

My friend David got his id stolen… We call him Dav now!

Did you hear about the woman who got Alzheimer’s after removing her breasts? She lost her mammaries

What do boats and fourier transforms have in common? Both sinc when rect.

Literature for the blind What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater? This is the most violent story I’ve ever read!

I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.

What’s Gordon Ramsey’s favourite movie? It’s Fucking Frozen!

Is having a penis easy? Well it can be hard sometimes

People are like onions… I always cry when I cut them up.

Why is being in the military like having sex? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.