Did you hear about the single-engine plane that crashed into a Polish cemetary? So far, 400 bodies have been recovered.

I don’t have a mental problem, I have mental problems…plural.

What’s more dangerous than a serial killer? A parallel killer.

I’m so lazy, If autocorrect doesn’t know the word after 3 letters I don’t even bother sending the text.

What do you call a white girl with an ass? A honkey with a donk-ey

“We don’t allow faster than light neutrinos here” said the bartender. A neutrino walked into a bar.

You ever do one single chore and then ride that high for 10 years

I broke my leg while visiting America At least I got a good taste of their hospitality.

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store? Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

A dyslexic man.. A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.