What do you call a content vowel? A Cheerio.

Developing an app that redirects you to twitter if you click on any other app on your phone cause obviously it was a mistake. You’re welcome

What’s the most confusing day in a Mormon home? Mother’s Day.

This says it all… It all.

Heard the local weatherman say, “high in the thirties” & now I know the title to my autobiography.

I slept like a baby last night 2 hours of sleep and a whole lot of crying

I recently started remodeling my house and quickly got in over my head, so I decided to get some professional help. I also hired a contractor to work on my house.

What do you call a black man in space? Ummm……an astronaut.

Fastening a pendant around my son’s neck before dying for him, “Keep this always. The audience won’t recognize you as an adult without it”

Q: Why are cows always broke? A: The farmers milk them dry.