1938: “It’s a bird!” “It’s a plane!” “It’s… Superman!” 2013: “Is that a drone?” “Yeah, it’s probably a drone.”

Three guys are drinking methanol. “Quickly, let’s finish the bottle, it’s getting dark already,” one of them observes.

I went to see a palm reader. “Judging by your palms,” he said, “I can tell that you masturbate frequently.” “Sorry,” I apologised, “I should probably wipe that off.”

“Donald Trump is feuding with the Pope” is like the 7th Onion headline that’s become real life in this election season

If i told you a joke about a woman who had wooden breast enlargements.. It would need a good punch line – wooden tit?

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected? All your stuff has been donated to charity

Share the most offensive and politically incorrect jokes you know.

I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It’s a once in a lifetime experience.

I’ve never dumped a girl. I always lay them peacefully in a field to be discovered by school children

I am opening a restaurant called “Peace and Quiet” A kid meal is 250