If you had $1 for every time you’ve masturbated What color would your Bugatti be?

I’ve banged a lot of hoes and I’m planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy.

How do you make sure man will never find something? Name it clit.

So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes.

My coworker broke his second windshield today. I offered him my apple… …because windows keep crashing on him.

If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I’m sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me.

My girlfriend left me for a midget the other day. This broke my heart I couldn’t believe she would stoop so low.

I got an anonymous letter today. Oh really – who was it from?!

Scientists Have Isolated a Single Unit of Potato and Taught it to Use 4chan They’ve named the project Channing Tatum.

I created a new word Plagiarism *just like 80% of the jokes on this page wink wink*