A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog.. Well of course they are. They’re not looking where they’re going.

I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind.. It came completely out of the green

What is Shia Labeouf’s favourite genre of music? Jazz Duets.

What do you call the blood that comes out when teenagers cut themselves? Emoglobin.

Two fish are in a tank… Two fish are in a tank… First one says: I’ll drive! Second one says: “I’ll man the guns!”

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

They’re making a Christmas edition of The Human Centipede It’s called The Human Santapede

Women are like buses… very few will let you come in through the back door.

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list? Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands

Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone.