How To Impress Your Boss 1. Show up early. 2. Have all the tools you need. 3. Read the strategy guide. 4. Aim for the big glowing weak spot (usually the eyes).

Why does Jesus Jaywalk? Because he hates crosswalks

Change is inevitable… Unless you go to a vending machine.

I’ve done it! I’ve solved the question we have all asked since the dawn of time. Where do we go when we die? In the ground.

I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !

What do you call Hitler with a fin? Adolf-fin

Don’t forget to use social media to say Happy Fathers Day to your father who doesn’t use social media and won’t see it

My friend had a stroke and half his body went dead He’s all right now.

What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl? It’s PAN-demonium!

I’ve just watched a distressing film on how African children have to walk up to ten miles to bring water to their village. I think it was far fetched.