I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it’s important.

[Ouija board] “Hey spirits, talk to us” W H A T S U R F R I E N D S N A M E H E S C U T E “fml”

What’s going be America’s largest export once Trump gets elected? Americans.

Donald Trump has a new slogan that he hopes will help his numbers with African American voters. “Orange Is The New Black.”

What is Moses’s favorite beer? Busch Light.

“This custard-filled donut will be bought… by a murderer!” -The Eclairvoyant

Did you hear they’re making an Indiana Jones 5? How can they do that?! They haven’t released a fourth!

The reason I don’t like Facebook’s “memories” feature is because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt I have on right now.

What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!

My grandpa has the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.