Knock, Knock – Who’s There? – Ach… Ach who – Bless you!

If I poured phenolphthalein on you it would turn pink. Because you a basic bitch.

Her: how are you Me: good Her: you sure? Me: yup Her: you’re alright? Me: yes.. Her: really? Me: Her: are y– Me: people like you go missing

A picture so sexy my computer just covered my eyes.

What sound does a gun made from church seating make? Pew Pew.. Sorry. Just became a father 2 years ago. I have some catching up to do.

The Pope and Raquel Welch are stranded on a life boat They’re out on the ocean and, yada yada yada, and she says, “Those aren’t buoys”

I love horror movies until it’s time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down.

Barry decided that because he had talked himself out of suicide every other day, today he would do it. Poor fucker always did take opposite day a bit too seriously.

What is a Brazilians favorite Pokemon? Zikachu.

Drunk girls really seem to enjoy dancing on top of things.