There is a big difference between hating you and losing respect for you.

What’s the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?….. You can slick her hair back and make her look 6.

Whats the difference between a Cat and a Compound Sentence? One has claws at the end of its paws, one has a pause at the end of its clause.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor

Roses are red violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

Why does the boy could not bend his knees? because he had no knees

Where does steel wool come from? Hydraulic rams.

Noticed something between my grandma’s boobs today. Her belly button.

My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so…) Knock knock *Who’s there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) 😛

Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged everyday