Today I saw a guy on the street wearing a “Stop Snitching” shirt I asked him where he got it. he wouldnt tell me.

Why is Quicksilver so fast? Because he’s Russian

My girlfriend dumped me on a fishing trip. She left me reeling.

Cannibals do not like to eat vaginas. …..Because it tastes like fish. ;-.>

“When no one else will f*ck you, I’m always there.” Life

My friend doesn’t like being called Squidward. He told me, “But I hate SpongeBob…” I said, “That’s the spirit!”

What CS:GO hack do tumblr girls use? Trigger bot.

Bears think if you’re lying down motionless, you’re dead. So everyday, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic..

Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of.

I’m starting my own Build-a-Bear type place except the kids make toys for other kids and it’s in China.