1st man: “My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o’clock this morning!” 2nd man: “Did they wake you?” 1st man: “Nah….I was up playing my bagpipes.”

I walked up 14 flights of stairs, so I’m all done with exercise this month.

How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders ?

I like my women how I like my bicycles, chained up in the garage.

Snake: *hissssssssss* Feminist snake: *herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

What did Obama mean when he called for “change”? Come Help A Nigger Get Elected

If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail.

What is a mathematician’s favorite food? A slice of Pi.

What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom A pick pocket snatches watches.

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete…. He was the fascist kid on the playground.