I made up a joke: What did the physicist say to the Jedi? The mass * acceleration is strong with you.

I like my showers like I like my women Hot, wet and finished in 20 minutes.

Old Lady at the bank I work at a bank, and one time an old lady asked if I could check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Yo momma’s so fat She drives a spandex car.

Walking into a fro-yo shop is probably what it’s like walking into a Japanese girl’s purse.

Getting caught dating someone underage isn’t a big problem. It’s a minor problem.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that? Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

German sausage jokes are the wurst …

With all these new apple devices, what’s gonna be next? The iPoor

What do you call a flying bagel? A plane bagel.