Nice butts take my breath away… I’m assmatic.

I’m an animal in bed I do it doggy style and come after 5 seconds

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark.

Dear America Would you please take the ‘s’ off the word ‘legos’ and put it back on the word ‘math’ where it belongs. Many thanks England

What did the alien say to Franz Schubert? “Take me to your lieder!”

Im so glad I learned sign language its pretty handy

I’d tell you my Jim Jones joke… But the punch line is too long.

Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!

My girlfriend from 65 years ago passed away…. Surprising because she was never one to go down first

Cleaning ladies: The new craze that’s sweeping the nation