What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night? reddit

My Father was never proud of me One day he asked me, “how old are you.” I said, “I’m five” he said,”when I was your age, I was six”

I see subway employees are still having their “how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich” contest.

*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I’m mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So…is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*

What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?” “You’re fine how am I? “

How do you get your partner to give you head? Put them in a guillotine.

I was reading a subreddit about unfinished sentences and it was Im not finishing this one eithe

Instagram banned me for life cuz I kept commenting “but are you happy?” on everyone’s pictures.

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Basket ! Basket who ? Basket home it’s nearly dark!

What’s big grey and flies straight up ? An elecopter !