So, I sold my old vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

My dog loves sniffing piles of poop He gets so shitfaced from it.

Alcohol activates the “we need to take pictures now!” center of your brain.

How to you make a Hormone? You kick her in the groin.

What do Muslims and the BBC have in common? They both cover up for pedophiles.

Why does the Necromancer hate doing stand-up comedy? He always has a dead audience

You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger.

If I was named Edward Normus, I’d use my first name’s initial and my last name as much as I possibly could.

I can’t wait until the 50th Anniversary Special… I’m very interested in who JFK will regenerate as.

A Poem Roses are red, Violets are blue, Stop memes about Harambe -Cincinnati Zoo