Pal: That’s an impressive stingray. How’d you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? an investigator. 😀

What do you call an Chinese family with a pet dog? Vegetarians. Source: I’m Chinese.

What’s the name of a Korean cook book? 150 ways to wok your dog

A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere

Why don’t they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer? Because they’ll set up a shop.

If I had a dollar for every downvote… I’d be rich from this post.

Damn you titties, stop being so glorious. Your owner is trying to tell me something and I need to make eye contact.

Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot? He survived 99 missions.

Why is Denmark the happiest country on Earth? Because all the sad people there kill themselves.