“Cool calculator watch dude.” ~nobody since 1987.

It was one of those things where I think they believe they were telling a joke but they were totally expressing their actual opinions

Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because cowboys eat with their hats on!

What was Robert E. Lee voted in his High School Yearbook? “Most likely to Secede”

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

It’s a pleasure to do business with you. I look forward to screaming at your customer service representatives in six months.

What do lonely terrorists have sex with? Blow-up dolls.

Muhammad walks up to the Buddha and says “Guess what a mosque and 9 year old have in common.” I’ve been in both.

men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?]

What do you have…. …when you have one green ball in your right hand, and one green ball in your left hand. Answer: Complete control of the Jolly Green Giant.