A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.

My father was a man of few words.He used to say, son…

My friend said he almost got trapped at a camp site during a forest fire… …He said it was pretty in-tents.

I’m going to tell you a joke about a broken pencil…….. Never mind. It’s pointless.

I just met a girl named ellen she’s the complete inverse of my e^(x)

rubbish invention I made a sandal for people with only one leg. it was a flop.

Most of my workday is me thinking what my couch is doing right now.

What is an emo’s favorite note? G …get it? EDIT:im not saying the reference

They say your memory is the first thing to go But I can’t remember losing that

My lift to work was late to arrive at the train station, so I killed the driver… …I thought it was fair but some said it was a loco-motive